Well that was a whole family-sized microwavable dinner of depressing. So what is the answer here? Like, what will actually work? I know you're used to me having all the answers on account of my keen intellect and devilish good looks, but I'm actually at a loss here. "Call Ralph, demand he breaks the internet again." mind is blown, reforms like a star being born, is blown again My God you're good. Keep going for the video.
Note: Keep your volume in check, high winds. This is a video from Fort Erie, Ontario, of a bunch of ice that was pushed over the Lake Erie-Niagara River ice boom (a series of massive 30-foot floating steel pontoons designed to prevent ice from entering the Niagara River from Lake Erie) and crashing ashore over a brick wall at Mathers Arch near the Peace Bridge. As fun as it is to watch that ice come ashore, it's really the guy's reaction that makes it even better. Some highlights: "I got it!", "Whoooooo!", "Mary Ann -- move my car! Move my car!", "Holy shit I got it!", "Oh my God I can't believe I actually got it." "Whooooohoooo!", "That's it, gotta be here at the exact time, you have like thirty seconds to get it. How cool is that?" If I didn't know better I'd swear he just won the lotto. Also, is Mary Ann okay? Because a check-in at the end of the video would have been nice. I worry, I know how these three-hour tours can go. Keep going for the whole video, most of the action is in the first half though.
Because human achievement isn't going to pinnacle itself, this is the Kickstarter campaign for the ~$55 Pizza Pocket Hoodie, a hoodie with a triangular zippered pocket on the front that's made to store its specially insulated, removable (and hand-washable) pizza slice carrying pouch (which also has a magnetic closure to keep the heat in). I want one, but I'm kind of concerned -- I mean how many days in a row is too many days in a row to wear a Pizza Pocket Hoodie? "Nice try, GW, but I recognize a trick question when I hear one." Haha, you thought about it for a second though, admit it. Keep going for several more shots and an As Seen On TV style commercial.
This is a video of a waterfall caused by heavy rains cascading down some stairs at the Culinary Institute of America in St Helena, California. I felt like the only thing missing from the video were some salmon trying to jump up those stairs to throw a spawning orgy at the top and then die. "Is that how you want to go, GW?" What do you mean? "Like at an orgy." Don't be ridiculous, I have a reputation to uphold, I can't be dying at some kink-fueled orgy. "Just checking." I'm kidding, obviously I'm 110% fine with that. But I want my obituary to read, 'He died happy -- so lost in a mountain of flesh he couldn't even tell which way was up.' Keep going for the video, which is way too much walking to the waterfall stairs and not enough of the waterfall stairs. Honestly, the gif is really all you need to see.
This is a very short video from the University of Tokyo of scientists briefly creating the world's strongest indoor magnetic field (1,200 Teslas), and blowing the door off their lab in the process. shrug It happens. You can't make an omelet without setting your house on fire, that's what I always say. Some more info while my mom insists I make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich instead:When reached for comment about the incident, I could only hear Magneto breathing heavily on the other end of the line as I described it to him. "And how did that make you feel?" Like I should have been charging him $3.99/minute for my services. Keep going for the video (although the gif is really it). And remember: there's always a very fine line between dying and gaining superpowers.
This is a video demonstration of Japanese juggling grad student (presumably at Clown College?) Shun Onozawa's graduate thesis 'Movement Act', a machine capable of horizontally juggling (read: rolling) 16 balls in a star shape (with each ball only traveling in a straight line though) without them colliding in the middle. Now not to brag or anything, but I've been known to do a little bit of horizontal juggling myself. winks, nudges Yeah, WITH A LADY. flashes eyebrows a couple times, finally admits I have no clue what I'm talking about Keep going for two videos (one significantly brighter so you can see what's going on) while I speculate why there aren't more traffic intersections like this. I mean it seems to work so well.
This is a video demonstration of MIT's new Mini Cheetah headless quadruped robot: a smaller, 20-pound version of their non-mini Cheetah robot previously seen HERE and HERE . What can it do? KILL. Plus trot over rugged terrain at twice the average human's walking speed, sidestep, walk diagonally and in spirals, and do backflips so it can flip over your head and attack from the rear. It can also swivel its legs to either walk right-side up OR upside-down, so if you thought flipping it on its back like a Koopa Troopa was going to save you, you were wrong and you are dead now. stamps F on forehead This concludes your robot apocalypse survival simulation. It'll be another $80 to take the test again, but you will receive a holographic sticker if you pass. Keep going for the video demonstration, the very end of which is a bunch of crash and burns.
This is a video of street artist DAKU's 'Theory Of Time' art installation in an alley in Goa, India. As the sun moves across the sky the shadows of the words printed above the street on transparent panels move with it. That's pretty cool. I tried to read the whole thing but the timelapse made it move too fast. Plus I got distracted watching all the people. Why read when you can people watch? That's what I say every time I wonder what the hell I'm doing at the library. Keep going for a couple still shots the much smoother Instagram video.
Because Otis could never quite get it right, these are a couple videos of new Mitsubishi elevators that have double-tap to cancel floor buttons. That way you can void all the unnecessary stops in the event you step into an elevator right after someone's shitty kid mashed all the buttons. "Are you that shitty little kid, GW?" You know I am, AND I set off a stink bomb. "You're the worst." Everyone hates me, my friends and family most of all. Keep going for the videos (the second of which is entirely too long unless you have an elevator fetish), while I complain that elevator door close buttons don't operate nearly fast enough to prevent the person behind me from getting on.
This is some dashcam footage from I-95 in Doswell, Virginia of a line of impatient drivers who got pulled over and ticketed for speeding down the shoulder to pass traffic stopped for an accident. It brought me great joy. Sure a cop is never there to catch the person when I see somebody doing something equally wrong, but it's at least nice to know they catch these people OCCASIONALLY. I swear, everyone always thinks their time is more important than everybody else's. And they would be wrong. Except in my case, my time is worth pure gold. These people's? I wouldn't trade them two turds for an entire year. Keep going for the video.
This is a video of full-of-flair bartender Stephen Molloy demonstrating a shaker and lime slice magic trick reminiscent of the cup and ball magic tricks of old. Admittedly, the minute-long trick is pretty impressive, and ends with a surprise that, unfortunately, was not the drink I ordered five minutes ago. What the hell Stephen I came here for a quick beer, not a magic show. Keep going for the trick.
